In the darkness of the night, I look with confusion at my hennaed hands.. <br /> <br />The deep red signifies.. <br /> <br />Good luck, fertility or bloodied sighs.. <br /> <br />My sisters and mom sleep next to me.. <br /> <br />Their warm bodies and deep breaths calm me.. <br /> <br />But what will tomorrow bring? <br /> <br />A new family to my door! A new mummy who isn’t my mom? <br /> <br />A man, a sis in law, A new home? <br /> <br />what will they be like? How will I win their hearts? <br /> <br />Make sure they love me from the start? <br /> <br />Will I get everything right? <br /> <br />Or just fumble and sweat and jump in fright? <br /> <br />Will they understand my nervousness and give me a chance.. <br /> <br />To prove my worth and make a mark.. <br /> <br />To win respect and affection, love and admiration.. <br /> <br />If I could I would be the happiest girl alive.. <br /> <br />But what if? I can't.. <br /> <br />What if all they care for is, what I bring? <br /> <br />Money, gifts and gold rings? <br /> <br />If at every chance they get.. <br /> <br />They shout and scream and humiliate! <br /> <br />Will I be able to live like that? <br /> <br />Bear the hurt, wipe the tears, hide the marks.. <br /> <br />I look at my family around me.. <br /> <br />Sleeping heavily, with dream laden eyes.. <br /> <br />Tomorrow for them is a happy day! <br /> <br />I must not let my doubts be seen.. <br /> <br />I must never break that dream!<br /><br />Sapna Goel<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ruminations-of-an-indian-bride/
