The pain that I feel <br />is deep and very dark <br />it crawls out from my belly <br />and up into my throat <br />forcing me to swallow it whole <br />and sometimes without Vodka <br />I conceal it from the sight of others <br />hiding it well underground <br />from those people love me <br />But it tricks me <br />with my own denial of its very existence <br />Excruciating thoughts <br />I bury them with my laughter's shovel <br />Disguised as humor <br />they feed off of me.... <br />Sabotaging any attempts <br />I make at obtaining <br />the joy which was lost <br />with the passing of my youth <br />They demand retribution <br />for all services they rendered <br />They call my notes due in full <br />Banks closed and I am in default <br />Demanding their payment <br />in the form of my soul <br />I bankrupt my savings.... <br />My soul aches...... <br />There are no jokes <br />only sarcasms <br />they now cannibalize my smiles <br />with feeble antidotal parables <br />of starving children in China <br />and Darwin's theory of evolution <br />Only the strong survive <br />and I am destined for extinction <br />I have outlived my usefulness... <br />I hunger and I thirst for more than there is... <br />but more shall not be forthcoming. <br />Only pain <br />the pain of being dead.... <br />and not knowing you died <br />I thought I was a comedian <br />but none of my jokes <br />were funny____<br /><br />Ted Sheridan<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/no-respect-2/
