didn't want to lose you; <br />You were my best friend, <br />But it seems I've lost you anyway <br />I can no longer pretend. <br />I know that you are angry <br />But I feel that I must mention, <br />I'm sorry that I hurt you <br />That was never my intention. <br /> <br />I wish that I could say to you <br />All the things I have wanted to, <br />Everything I have kept insidIe <br />The feelings I have cast aside. <br />I wish that I could talk openly <br />Tell you what is wrong with me; <br />Maybe then you would understand <br />And see that I had never planned <br />To screw things up in such a way <br />And lose you like I did that day. <br /> <br />I know that it was all my fault <br />And I hate myself so much, <br />I just can't stand you hating me <br />I really have fucked up. <br />I'm sorry for the way I am <br />From the bottom of my heart it's true, <br />I thought that we could still be friends <br />But I guess that's up to you... <br /> <br />I wish that I was not this way, <br />I wish that I was more okay <br />With letting people get close to me, <br />I wish that I was more carefree. <br />I don't know why I'm the way I am <br />I just deal with it the best I can; <br />I think that means I shut people out <br />Fill their heads with confusion and doubt, <br />I'm truly sorry that I hurt you <br />But can't you see I'm hurting too? <br /> <br />I'm sorry for being me and I'm sorry that I hurt you.<br /><br />C. J Barclay<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/dont-want-to-lose-you/
