So, another doctor threw his hat into the ring today. <br />Tall and gaunt with a tender touch, he seemed OK, <br />but who can know? Right away it's, 'I'm not convinced <br />what we're looking at here is AS, ' 'WE'RE? ! ? ' WHO? Me and you? <br />You and your evil alter-ego? Why not just say, <br />'I think you're full of it, and looking for ways to get drugs! '? <br /> <br />Without reason, and before he even touched me, I'd <br />begun to panic. Everyone aside from ONE doctor wants <br />to put another polysyllabic symptom and 'Dx' on my chart - <br />another gooey hunk of medical arts taffy sure to pull money <br />from my wallet as readily as it sucks the fillings <br />from my teeth. <br /> <br />'No, what I think you have is 'youllneverbeabletopaymybillsitis, ' <br />it's not as rare as you might think, and it manifests itself <br />with extreme lower extremity pain, normally localized in your rectum, <br />and complicated by an extreme lack of natural or artificial <br />lubrication as I - as your doctor, the system, and most of all, <br />your insurance company gives it to you high and hard, <br />and you know, the more I look at you, the more I feel like, <br />damn if it don't look like it might be terminal! <br /> <br />'Hmmm let's see, that'll be - 'thirtysevenhundreddollarspayableincashcashierscheckoryourfirstchildwhichevercomesfirst' - thank you very much! ' <br /> <br />Um... excuse me doc? Can we go back to AS again? <br /> <br />Please? <br /> <br />'I'm sorry son, did you say something? I couldn't hear you over <br />the noise my bank account was making in my ear? ' <br /> <br />Please? Go back? To...? oh hell, never mind... <br /> <br /> <br />© 2008 Michael Hunter<br /><br />Michael Hunter<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-new-malady/
