(This is a fictional poem) <br /> <br />One day a spider climbed up my leg while I was cleaning out my loft. <br />It got on my penis and I can't get it off. <br />I tried to pry it off and I even tried to remove it with soap. <br />But it's clamped on real good and I'm all out of hope. <br />It really hurts when it bites my wiener. <br />It made my girlfriend scream, you should've seen her. <br />She dumped me and found another man. <br />I want to get rid of this spider but I'm not sure if I can. <br />I'm desperate to get this spider unattached. <br />I may douse it in gasoline and light it with a match. <br />You're probably thinking that that would be insane. <br />When the good lord made me, he didn't give me a good supply of brains. <br />The spider just walked off of my wiener, that's good news. <br />But now it's attached itself to my balls, I guess I was born to lose.<br /><br />Randy Johnson<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/there-is-a-spider-on-my-wiener/