(This is a fictional poem. I'm not really married.) <br /> <br />I never would've married my wife if I'd known she's a bitch. <br />When I put my hand down the garbage disposal to unclog it, she turned on the switch. <br />She gets violent if I give her any sass. <br />Last week she beat me with a broomstick and then shoved it up my ass. <br />I was watching a show that she hates and she smashed the TV screen with a bat. <br />Then she put arsenic in my coffee and I sure as hell didn't deserve that. <br />She cut the wrong cable on my car when she thought she was cutting the brake line. <br />Life would be perfect if I hadn't married this satanic wife of mine. <br />She's hanging on the edge of the roof because she slipped and if she falls, she will die. <br />She's begging me to help and I'm asking her why should I?<br /><br />Randy Johnson<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-wife-is-a-bitch/
