Note: a 'foreigner' is a term for a job done by a tradesman 'on the side' for cash. They always turn out to be headaches for the tradesman. This poem is for my father (88) who is ill in hospital in the UK. He used to work as an electrician. <br /> <br /> <br />Would you do a foreigner? <br />Would you wire my home? <br />Would you mend the fuse box where <br />The fuses are all blown? <br />Do you have a cheap rate? <br />Remember cash I’ll pay <br />But you’ll have to wait for this <br />For days and days and days <br />You know that this job’s urgent <br />Can you come round tonight? <br />If you start now then trust me <br />Just record your hours – right? <br />What’s this - it really took that long <br />To just put in that plug? <br />And what’s this here – some switches? <br />Now this really chokes me up <br />I want a good job cheaply <br />I thought you’d have those things around <br />I am not made of money <br />And I do not like the sound <br />Of you saying Sunday’s difficult <br />To finish off the job <br />What’s that – you now regret your ‘yes’ <br />And that when you begun <br />You didn’t like my attitude <br />Nor the way I called you ‘son’ <br />I think we ought to get things straight <br />So stop messing me about <br />Those other little jobs you did <br />Were just you helping me out <br />OK – you fixed the fish tank <br />And the outside garden lights <br />And the immersion heater <br />And got the door bell working right <br />But this massive bill in front of me <br />For all of fifteen pounds <br />Is money from my pocket <br />And though to pay I’m bound <br />I was doing you a favour mate <br />And you should be grateful for <br />Some crisp pound notes put in your hand <br />And - like I said before <br />There really was not much to do <br />OK - the jobs were more than one <br />Don’t think I’m mean – but I just think <br />It’s a job I could have done.<br /><br />David Keig<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/an-electrician-s-lament/
