All these years <br />All these tears <br />All this time <br />I blamed you <br />But maybe the fault was mine. <br />What is wrong with me? <br />Why do you love me for a moment, <br />Then forget me for long days, months, years <br />You aren’t here, even when you are you aren’t <br />You look right through me <br />You see me as a burden <br />a mistake <br />An obligation <br />You used to look at me like you would die without me, <br />Like I was more to you than the very air you breathed. <br />I’m selfish <br />I want you to walk away from anyone <br />everyone <br />anything <br />anytime <br />Just because I need you. <br />I thought that was what love was all about. <br />I guess I watched too many movies <br />Or read too many fairy tales <br />I thought loving someone meant walking away from it all <br />I gave up every thing for you and I always, always assumed <br />You would do the same <br />Now I see that isn’t true <br />And I have to tell you <br />It hurts <br />It hurts worse than a blade through my flesh; <br />ripping flesh, spilling blood <br />Grinding bone <br />Sometimes I long for something like that. <br />Physical pain to focus on; <br />break a finger to take away the focus on the way my heart aches <br />Something to remind me that I am real <br />That I exist <br />The things I want and need matter, you know; <br />Even though I get the feeling they don’t matter much to you.<br /><br />Lynda Remus<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/all-these-years/
