When I was young <br />they all said, 'This is Iain'. <br /> <br />Believing them, shining eyed, <br />with curly dark hair and my face <br />turned just so, <br />I looked out in the world, happily <br />building up a portfolio of identity <br />as the years rolled by, <br />thinking myself apart. <br /> <br />This certainty of being Iain, <br />left unasked the question, <br />like a still stone unthrown <br />beside a forest pool, <br />'Who am I? ' <br /> <br />Sometimes in a gentle mood, <br />a tree would wave, <br />a stream would come alive and <br />murmur messages, <br />and sudden birds flying by <br />raised riddles. <br /> <br />Who am I? <br /> <br />Clearly, I am not my house or car, <br />or even my beloved violin. <br />I am not my clothes, nor shoes <br />nor, honestly considered inside closed eyes, <br />am I this body. <br /> <br />Flowing inwards <br />I am not my ideas, <br />while emotions are colored flags <br />simply thought-woven, and <br />all actions, every single detailed one, <br />are my thoughts' willing slaves. <br /> <br />All these bear my signature <br />but they are not <br />who I am <br />as I search inwards <br />where nothing is <br />with the recognition there <br />of a being <br />closer than my breath. <br /> <br />Noticing my searching stillness, <br />silent awareness pervades me, <br />sweetly waiting for a nod, a look, <br />a heart-felt conversation <br />from you. <br /> <br />I have known you all along in quiet moments, <br />even for a lifetime of ignorance <br />not knowing what to call you, <br />when, through the air <br />of an intimate surrounding glade, <br />you look and smile and nod at me <br />in kind, silent approval. <br /> <br />You are my essence, <br />a god who is the heart of the world <br />who has loved and cared for me <br />through all my life. <br /> <br />In this light there is no Iain <br />nor world, only <br />the all-transcendent one, <br />the radiant being of all, <br />to which, sweet heart, all-praise.<br /><br />Ian Trousdell<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/awareness-i-have-known-it-all-along/
