How can I fathom it? <br />Death. Loss. Gone, forever. Forever, gone. <br />Pain so hard that screaming does not help, <br />Shaking and trembling with a hard, hollow, shaking aching. <br /> <br />Aching like an old oak creaking and breaking and crashing into the frozen icy creak. <br />Aching like an old dog rising for it's last drink, falling, moaning into the chilly water. <br />Aching like an ancient wound, festering green, gangrenous, pus filled, oozing pain. <br />Aching like being wrapped in sorrow; a gagging, suffocating, drowning sorrow. <br /> <br />Tired and drained, like sorrow stole the last breath from my soul. <br />Tired forever, like I'm free falling through sleepless chasms of pain. <br />Tired so tired. Afraid of tomorrow's angry reddening desolate dawn. <br />Tired like the Forlorn Hope. Struggling in the quicksand of an impossible reality. <br /> <br />My god, if only I could remember how to sleep, <br />Maybe I could forget the wakening horror. <br />If only I could sleep, I would sleep for a thousand years. <br />Yes, if only I could sleep, I would never wake up. <br />Yes, I would never wake up. If only, I could never wake up. <br /> <br />Maybe then, some peace would befall me. <br />Maybe then, some desperate, fleeting, cruel wistful peace would befall me. <br />Maybe then, some peace would embrace me for the briefest of moments. <br />A quiet, white, surrounding, still waters, moment. <br /> <br />Maybe then, the aching, trembling, plague of pain would cease. <br />Maybe then, I could forget. Maybe then I could sleep. <br />Maybe then, I would never wake up. <br />Maybe then, I would never be alone. <br />Maybe then, I would not have to be alive, <br />Without you.<br /><br />Sandra Osborne<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/without-you-107/
