They say when drunk you cannot bluff <br />To say what you can’t say <br />Like “Thanks I think I’ve had enough” <br />“I’m late so I can’t stay.” <br /> <br />It seems the booze takes hold of you <br />And stops the vocal chords <br />From saying certain things on cue <br />So here are those few words: <br /> <br />“Gud evening Offisher, it’sh late <br />How clear it ish tonite <br />How nish to shee you at my gate <br />Ash I put out the light.” <br /> <br />“Oh Shank you ashking me to dansh <br />I’m awkward on my feet <br />Embarrash you? Oh not a chansh <br />I’ll shit here on my sheet.” <br /> <br />'I couldn’t Karaoke shing <br />My vocal chordsh are shtuck <br />I’ll lishen while you have a fling <br />I’ll wish you lotsh of luck.” <br /> <br />“No more pudding shanksh for me <br />I’m really on a diet <br />Kebabsh and shaushagesh will be <br />Fattening if I try it.” <br /> <br /> “No Shanksh, now I’ve drunk my fill <br />No beer I’ve got to go <br />I’ve got to show that I have Will <br />Power to shay No! ” <br /> <br />“I really mushen’t fight in barsh <br />Musht keep my clothing clean <br />Nor will I go out driving carsh <br />And what I shay I mean.” <br /> <br />“Shank you for your offer of <br />A bed to share tonight <br />But ‘though I shink you’re gorgeous Love <br />I shink I know whatsh right.” <br /> <br />“You know I’ve got to leave right now <br />I’m working in the morn <br />No more drinksh I musht think how <br />I’ll welcome in the dawn.” <br /> <br />“Hic.”<br /><br />Christopher Higginson<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/what-you-can-t-say-when-you-re-drunk/
