“The first time you shoot Coke, ” <br />said Bessie Fountain <br />sitting on my bed <br />naked <br />on Christmas day <br />“you’re gonna experience <br />something <br />you’ll want <br />again and again <br />always trying <br />to recapture that feeling <br />and <br />the memory <br />will be with you forever <br />and the memory <br />hooks you. I’m strong <br />so I can deal with it.” <br />“You’re strong? ” I said. <br />“Strong <br />that’s right <br />you don’t know nothing <br />about being strong. <br />Coke wipes you out. <br />Everything disappears— <br />everything.” <br />“Even Christmas? ” <br />“EVERYTHING...for a while <br />and tonight I need <br />a Super Speedball dropping <br />through my veins. <br />See you get some good Coke <br />and some good Heroin <br />and mix it just right <br />and you got yourself <br />a Merry Christmas. The whole world <br />says it to you then.” <br />“But you said it works just for a while, ” <br />I whispered <br />placing my hand on her knee <br />gently <br />trying to soothe her. <br />“IT WORKS. <br />Don’t you never forget <br />the truth <br />of escaping misery. <br />That time is a good time <br />and just cause it don’t last <br />don’t mean that good time wasn’t there, <br />but you ain’t strong enough <br />to handle it <br />one taste of the feeling— <br />you’re finished <br />never recover <br />spend all your days <br />desperate <br />searching <br />for that sweet miracle. <br />Just drink your little Bacardi, Bernstein, <br />and leave what <br />you don’t know alone <br />cause that other stuff is for <br />some heavy sadness <br />for me <br />tonight <br />for real.”<br /><br />Charles Chaim Wax<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/bewildered-by-disaster-on-christmas-day/
