I act like I’m okay with who I am and how I feel, <br />But if you’d listen close enough, you’d realize I’m not being real. <br />You listen to the things I say, but not the things I don’t, <br />You see what’s right before your eyes, but not the things I’m scared to show. <br />Right now I’m just uncomfortable, I feel like I cant breath, <br />I want to tell you how I feel, but I’m scared of what you’ll think. <br /> <br />I’m self-conscious of my appearance, I hate the way I am. <br />I hate the fact I have to hide, why don’t you understand? <br />I want so badly to let go, and to be happy with myself, <br />But it seems like it’s impossible, I’m not like everyone else. <br /> <br />I don’t walk around with my head held high, instead it’s always down, <br />I walk around with fake, forced smiles, I guess I’m too ashamed to frown. <br />I cry myself to sleep at night, praying that things will change, <br />I don’t like being so hard on myself, I don’t like feeling this way. <br /> <br />But it’s so easy to discredit yourself, before anyone else has the chance. <br />So I’m the first one to laugh at myself, so that nobody else can. <br />I know you say you'll love me, no matter what I do. <br />but I'm scared that if I tell you things, <br />Our relationship will come unglued. <br /> <br />I can't keep pretending I'm happy, behind this mask I wear <br />In fact, I really hate it. It's more than I can bear. <br />But I have to hide my insecurities, so that you'll never see, <br />Behind this mask of happiness, I hate being me. <br /> <br />Yes, mom, I know you love me <br />But for now this mask will have to do. <br />I have to keep on hiding, untill I can love me too.<br /><br />Crystal Johnson<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/untill-i-love-me-too/
