“The latest statement in beauty is Warts! ” <br />the female celebrity asserted, <br />as the camera panned in on her face <br />to showcase two strategically placed <br />lumps, one on her chin and <br />another on her left cheek <br />near the nose. <br /> <br />“You too can be a part of this <br />exciting new fashion trend. And wait! <br />It’s not just for gals.” <br />A smiling young man appears <br />on the screen sporting <br />a wart precisely in the middle <br />of his forehead. <br /> <br />“Yes, call Dr. Blemish today <br />and make an appointment <br />for the latest advance in cosmetic <br />surgery: wart transplants. <br /> <br />“This is a relatively painless <br />procedure that can be performed <br />in your own home. <br /> <br />“Just think: <br />no more sitting at home <br />waiting for the phone to ring. <br />No more singles bars. <br />No more speed-dating. <br />After your wart <br />transplant, romance, <br />sexual invitations <br />and even marriage proposals <br />will pour in like Oil of Olay. <br /> <br />“Act now to take advantage of <br />our two warts for the price of one sale. <br />And wait! Act now <br />and we’ll throw in absolutely free <br />a king-sized tube of <br />our pimple-propagator balm. <br />All this for $9.99. <br /> <br />”If you wish to be a donor <br />please send a sample <br />in a self-addressed stamped envelope. <br /> <br />“Operators are standing by.”<br /><br />Sonny Rainshine<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/how-to-be-gorgeous/
