He passes through the last moments of my life like he walked through the war <br />Unscathed and oblivious and that’s what hurts most of all <br />He looks in and at things but says nothing <br />I asked him if he knew how people felt just before their death and if he did, did he care <br />He told me that he understood very little about the world and that he has always felt foreign to reason <br />I wondered how vacuous that must have sounded <br />Then I wondered about myself. <br />I am swept up on the shore of an uninhabited island looking colourless <br />and caught. <br />I am like a dolphin trapped in a fisherman’s net and waiting to die <br />It should as I have imagined been an assumption but I know what surrounds me and I feel too much. <br />I feel that he is close to being like too many men but he is not a being in that sense <br />He might be in my imagination. <br />I feel something like an ache <br />I want him to touch me <br />I had him <br />I want him again <br />and again <br />but not once did his expression change <br />I hoped that he would just mouth the words I wanted to hear <br />He returns <br />Oh yes he returns just like a man <br />A lousy rotten thief. <br />He will take my soul and bleach my bones for trophies <br />He will end my days in a catastrophe <br />“You’ll touch me first” I heard screamed <br />“ I’ll not bend to your wanton ways” I listened again <br /> I watched as he came closer as he raised his hand to his mouth <br />I realized then. I was listening to myself. <br />How do I give in so easily? <br />How have I spent my life? <br />I shall die in shame and not know if the shape of a man or the haunting I have endured has taken me <br />He glides now <br />Yes he glides with confidence now.<br /><br />Lindsay Crosby<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/in-the-moment-of-my-death-come-and-collect-me-wi/
