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Amy Carmichael - Not quite self-loathing

2014-06-14 9 Dailymotion

I feel it after every smoke <br />Feel less alive with every toke <br />I feel it when I’ve drank too much <br />Not quite self-loathing-not as such <br /> <br />‘I’ve given up’ though that last joint calls to me still <br />If it’s not that it’s a drink or a pill <br />This shit doesn’t faze you-its what you grew up to <br />I can’t do it though, I’m not you <br /> <br />The panic increases so I reach for the knife <br />This shit defines me its become my life <br />The first cut goes unnoticed, but then so do the rest <br />They’ve all missed my pain-me at my best <br /> <br />I’m in the bar now and everyone’s drinking <br />With every sip I take I feel more like I’m sinking <br />‘Andy I’m going outside I can’t really breathe’ <br />I take a step out the door, find a cab and leave<br /><br />Amy Carmichael<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/not-quite-self-loathing/

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