She feels so lost and so unclean <br />Nothing makes it go away <br />Guilt, shame, hopelessness <br />They don't understand her <br /> <br />She is not to blame <br /> <br />She did nothing wrong <br />It wasn't her fault <br />She never asked for any of it <br />None of it <br /> <br />An overwhelming fear <br />Burning inside <br />Extreme uncertainty <br />She has nowhere to hide <br /> <br />She wants to be close to someone <br />To gain back the heart filled innocence <br />Her childhood dream <br />Of love and trust <br /> <br />Trying to forget the past <br />An abstract mind <br />Memories erode <br />Nothing is left behind <br /> <br />Fighting and struggling <br />War in the brain <br />She fights onwards <br />Holding her life in disdain <br /> <br />Deep down there's pain <br />So much pain <br />Unbearable at times <br />She cuts at herself <br /> <br />It does nothing <br />Offering up a minute of control <br />It goes so fast, so fast <br />She regresses to the start <br /> <br />To let herself go, if only she could <br />She feels rotten inside and defiled <br />Withdrawn one day and lashing out another <br />She feels so lost and so unclean <br /> <br />She is still beautiful to me...<br /><br />Joshua Fegley<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/she-216/
