Here, I feel I am pretending to be somebody I’m not <br />(Faking my way through friendships and lovers) <br />I do not say what I would like to say <br />(I am twisting myself into these cramped tight spaces called “cliques” <br />And “stereotypes”) <br />I do not act how I would like to act <br />(Out of fear, I conform, not wanting to be the one, the only one, who is “Different”) <br />There is not one rhythm here that beats in time with my heart <br />(My wishes are alone) <br />There is not one laugh here that echoes my own joy <br />(My happiness is alone) <br /> <br />Everyday I wake up and put on my mask <br />(I am losing myself) <br />“If you don’t use it, you lose it” <br />(I am losing myself) <br /> <br />And it makes me so mad because I’ve once known contentment <br />And once you’ve seen the light <br />It’s that much harder to go back into the darkness <br />I know what it is like to be able to BE. <br />I knew a sanctuary and I left it (I was forced to) <br />I knew kindred spirits and I left them (I did not want to) <br /> <br />Once a year I go back and I feel and I talk and I <br />Dance <br />To my own melody that miraculously harmonizes with their melodies <br />(Until I come back here, <br />Among the frequent twanging and out of tune notes <br />That my pretty melody becomes) <br /> <br />Is it too much to ask to just BE?<br /><br />gina prettybrowneyes<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if-you-don-t-use-it-you-lose-it/
