Ratbag was a pirate <br />whom sailed the seven seas <br />and the Spanish Main. <br />You won’t find his name in any history book, <br />as he wasn’t that good at being a pirate at all. <br />He was neither Long John Silver <br />nor Captain Henry Morgan. <br />His greatest claim to fame <br />was attempting to kidnap <br />a Polynesian Princess, <br />but feisty woman said, <br />“Ho, Ho, Oh no you don’t.” <br />Then promptly hit Ratbag <br />over the head with a coconut. <br />However, she was much better than <br />just conking him on the bonce <br />she ran off with his pirate ship <br />and his motley crew as well. <br />She left ole Ratbag stranded on an island <br />with the most ugliest women <br />the world has ever seen. <br />Ratbag got away from there, <br />and hitched a ride <br />on a passing brigantine home, <br />but the law caught up with him <br />said he must spend twenty years <br />in the penal colony at Cookaroo. <br />Then he was place on a farm <br />that raised kangaroos; <br />his job was to round them up <br />at the close of day. <br />Another thing he was not good at <br />as the Cookaroo’s kangaroos <br />beat him up every time he shouted. <br />Escaping from Cookaroo, <br />he became a highwayman <br />another job he wasn’t good at its sad to say. <br />The first coach he shouted stand and deliver to, <br />ran him into the ground. <br />Sadly, that led to his demise. <br /> <br />1 September 2009 <br /> <br />Author Note: <br />The name Ratbag comes from a criminal who was once locked up in Newgate Prison. The rest of this tale was made up by the author who hopes it raised a smile.<br /><br />David Harris<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ratbag-fun-poem-109/
