The pain grew and I began to experience suicidal thoughts. <br />I realized that life for me was at a desperate impasse. <br />I thought of the garage as a place where I might sit in the car and inhale carbon monoxide. <br />I’d look at the rafters in the attic and think of them as places where I might hang my self. <br />I looked at the sharps objects as being implements for my wrists. <br /> <br />Then I remembered all the good times I have had with my friends. <br />My thoughts for suicide seemed to fade into my mind. <br />That night I went out with my friends but the thoughts seemed to come back. <br />I could not escape them there were haunting me like a ghost with a debt to pay. <br />I got home. I felt alone like no one cared. <br /> <br />I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. <br />I saw it in all its glory to stop my pain and suffering. <br />I take the handle gripping it tight. <br />I hear people at the door banging and yelling at me not to do it. <br />But they don’t care. They don’t love me. <br /> <br />I look down at my perfectly white wrist, and with one slash, <br />I open my wrist the cut is deep I am bleeding more than u can imagine. <br />I grip the handle with all my strength with the hand I had just cut my wrist with. <br />I mange to slash down my wrist. <br />I fall to the floor in a heap. I have done it. I am dying. <br />I dropp the knife beside me and smile as my friends knock down the door. <br />One of them falls to the floor crying. And start to crawl up to me. <br />The others stand at the door and start to bawl there eyes out. <br /> <br />With my last breathe my only breathe I tell them I love them but I had to do it. <br />My eyes closed. I went pale and white. The blood from my wrists running down the bathroom drain.<br /><br />Kat Tozer<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-pain-15/
