to lose you i know is one kind sorrow <br />for i claim a loss that i never had even once owned. <br /> <br />a play of words, and i know you do not understand <br />what each word means, what a punctuation is. <br /> <br />this heart that grieves for what it cannot even touch <br />with its fragile hands, its trembling fingers <br />for what i see is but a glimmer <br />a faint light, a shadow, a hush, a slight glimpse <br /> <br />no one knows what secret suffering is all about <br />(secret so to say, i give it a language of its own) <br />a heart that bleeds without drops of blood <br />a heart injured yet without the bruises and wound <br /> <br />i mix with the crowd just like what we do when we go malling. <br />i smile like the way all people smile. i always have a glimpse of you. <br />yet i know, i do not wait for anybody, or anything, this is simply <br />an impossible endeavor. Clouds that dissipate. Air that vanish. <br /> <br />a door that closes. a bus that leaves. a plane turning into a dot in space. <br />i look up actually for nothing. i pretend sometimes that there are stars where there are none but black clouds and tree tops. <br /> i look down and only see suffering. Pebbles and gray sands. <br /> <br />i sleep without remembering my dreams. i wake up not thinking <br />about what to do specifically with my life. I have everything you say. <br />but since i do not have you, i am still nothing. I am simply arms emptied <br />of its embrace. I am hands groping with nothing but space. <br /> <br />it does not matter. i touch my chest and feel that i am strong. <br />i give up the gift of speech. I take in the gift of words written in utter silence.<br /><br />RIC S. BASTASA<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-kind-of-sorrow-a-secret-suffering/
