Get out of the house, they said, they said <br />Get out of the house … take up bowls. <br />So fratefully social, they said, they said <br />There’s no finer game than bowls. <br /> <br />You’ll need a white dress, they said, they said <br />We’re the essence of all that is pure. <br />Your legs may be bare, they said, they said <br />But your hemline, my dear, demure. <br /> <br />Your shoes must be plain, they said, they said <br />Unlike moccasins worn by chaps <br />For us no approval … the men, they said <br />Would blame all their flops on our flaps. <br /> <br />And earrings, my dear, they said, they said <br />May either be small gold or pearls <br />No heavy gold chains like those, they said <br />That nestle on male chesty curls. <br /> <br />Some coaching will help, they said, they said, <br />Locked elbow, locked wrist … let it roll … <br />But first check your stance and your bias, they said <br />To deliver a clinically-pure bowl. <br /> <br />When putting in tabs, they said, they said <br />For Ladies, for Mens or for Mixed. <br />The outcome is always the same, they said <br />When the chaps do the cardings, they’re ‘fixed’. <br /> <br />And mind how you natter, they said, they said <br />The men can’t abide chitter-chat <br />‘Tis very well known in bowls, they said <br />We’re only the proletariat. <br /> <br />Now, as Lead you’ll be silent, they said, they said <br />Your opinion is not worth a dime. <br />You don’t know a thing, they said, they said <br />And you won’t … for a very long time. <br /> <br />But despite the foregoing, I say, I say! <br />I’m bowling for all I am worth <br />And happy to say: I say, I say! <br />Tis the jolliest game on earth.<br /><br />Margaret Kollmer<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/take-up-bowls-they-said/
