I don’t want to open my eyes, I don’t want <br />to face the light, I don’t want to go through <br />this again, I nearly lost Rudi and I can’t be- <br />lieve it, he is my hero, my beloved, my best <br />friend - and he nearly died, I can’t believe <br />that harm came so near, I can’t accept that <br />he could have been lost, I am scared of a <br />world where Rudi’s not safe, where blood- <br />poisoning became a threat, where even <br />gangrene was mentioned, I have started <br />praying for him, always used to believe that <br />his innate goodness would keep him safe, <br />now I’m setting up prayers for him <br /> <br />Concentrating on sending my requests to all <br />kinds of consciousness and all powers to guard <br />him, focusing all my trust in this one precondition <br />that Rudi, my sweetheart, be safe at all times – <br />I’m scared of accepting his safety, scared that it <br />will trigger powers against him, I don’t want to do <br />anything – I heard Juliette whispering - she explained <br />to Werner why I loved Rudi so, I discovered how <br />much my she cared for me, I’m so blessed, scared <br />of acknowledging anything too much, scared of <br />attracting the attention of evil powers and forces <br /> <br />Went to hospital, I was scared of rejoicing, watched <br />Rudi’s face closely, he was smiling, I couldn’t believe <br />it and started crying, I’m so relieved, Rudi said he was <br />delighted to see us, thanked us all and promised me he <br />would return, I can see he will be all-right, I don’t want to <br />lose him, please understand, I CANNOT lose him, <br />all powers and forces of goodness and love...<br /><br />Louise Tredoux<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-cannot-lose-him-please-understand/
