I have wrestled public confession <br />and even my private one's have waned in sincerity <br />Gradually, secretly my heart rots <br />I'm infected with the virus- porn <br />I'm on the wrong side of the preaching stats <br />drenched like a wounded soldier in spurts of submission <br />In a lowly state, submerged and consumed by sin <br /> <br />I've chased my godly friends away <br />In a ttempt to preserve their holiness <br />for I know the fatality of the disease of my heart <br />I've surrendered to trust only in the strength of my God <br />for no human words seems to help except for a temporary conviction <br />like a demon returned seventh fold, each abstinence has ended <br /> <br />I've heard the lady moan without making her <br />I've seen the pleasure of pain without inducing it <br />I've seen the emotions swirl vehemently within <br />as she danced, in its motion, the serpentine music <br />I've felt myself cling to the atmosphere of an inexistent body <br />My blood's gushed out spiritually and my body's had to constrain it <br />I've been lonely and taken the forbidden pleasure as my companion <br /> <br />TODAY, I'd lie if I say NO MORE, but i choose to will it! <br />I confess the desire for my spiritual therapy and physical u-turn <br />Sin isnt a pleasant future but a physical leisure bubble JUST FOR NOW! <br /> <br />The slope of my fall is close to a ninety degree <br />it will take a massive opposite force to overcome it <br />Else, a huge ditch sure is about to be formed <br />under a sermon of God's truth, I feel the taste of true joy <br />I remember, only in the wosdom of God lies the dynamic dunamis to induce required repentance <br />My therapist is God my father and his prescription is His word! <br />I know I'll be healed just in time, in his time... <br /> <br />This is beginning to feel like the fingernails I have chewed since i can remember <br />bad habits dont get curbed by wishing <br />and its the other way around, <br />those without addictions are the sane not the addicted!<br /><br />Adedolapo Olisa<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/confession-from-the-pit-of-eye-s-lust/
