I try to figure out why it's so hard for me to fight, <br />Sometimes I walk alone at night. <br />Always tried to suppress the thoughts in my head, <br />the ones that wish me dead. <br /> <br />It seems that all was cold and dark along that path to my heart. <br />It seems that no one could see through the mask, <br />could see the hidden struggle <br />and everything goes back to the start <br /> <br />The beginning when all fell apart <br />the time when all broke down, <br />and the tears could not be heard, <br />but the pain lingered on, <br />gasping for air as it sucked all joy from her heart. <br /> <br />She could not even whisper her longing to be held, <br />her longing to forget, <br />her longing to be heard and loved. <br />She could not even face her own body, <br />her own face as she woke. <br /> <br />She was alone <br />She was alone because no one would ever know what made her cry, <br />and die and turn to ashes inside. <br />Because the silence was her only hope, <br />her mask of joy.<br /><br />Mariya Ward<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mask-of-joy/
