This is my mental suicide <br />My death that will not be seen <br />I'm killing myself on the inside <br />Because I just can't take the pain <br /> <br />I found an old diary, <br />from back when I was young <br />It hurts to know that even then <br />Life was never any fun <br /> <br />You know there's something wrong <br />When an eight year old girl <br />Writes about just how much <br />She really hates the world <br /> <br />I hated my life <br />I hated my mom <br />But no one ever realized <br />What was going on <br /> <br />I'm miserable now <br />And I was miserable then <br /> <br /> <br />My mom said she loved me <br />But I've never loved her back <br />When I leave she says she misses me <br />But I just don't believe that <br /> <br />I've always listened to everyone's problems <br />Simply waiting in silence <br />Waiting for my turn to vent, <br />But I still haven't gotten that chance <br /> <br />Now I think that I have cracked <br />I can't take it anymore <br />All the pain, the hurt, the hate, <br />It's too much for me to ignore <br /> <br />And I'm so frustrated <br />With everyone always saying I'm wrong <br />I can't hide the hurt anymore; <br />I'm just not that strong <br /> <br />Fourteen years of ridicule <br />It's never going to stop <br />Which is why I'm leaving it all behind <br />And shutting off my mind <br /> <br />Please honor my last wishes <br />I won't ask for a lot <br />Just don't let my memory <br />Ever fade away <br /> <br />Next time you make fun of someone <br />I hope you'll remember this note <br />Realize what it does to them <br />Give them some sort of hope <br /> <br />I just want to scream <br />And I just want to cry <br />But I can't take the pain of death, <br />Which is why I'm not going to die <br /> <br />Instead I've chosen this other path <br />This other way to go <br />But before I'm gone and my mind is lost, <br />I just want you to know <br /> <br />When I'm gone, <br />If you're wondering why, <br />You're my excuse, the reason behind, <br />My mental suicide.<br /><br />Aleksandra Lachut<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mental-suicide/
