i think back and i wonder, <br />why my trusting is so messed up, <br />part of me knows the reason, <br />but at times it still a puzzle, <br />that i just can't seem to put together, <br />i remember things clearly, <br />as i have the flashbacks, <br />i'm learning that my memories, <br />are not lies, <br />but are truth that was hidden, <br />so much pain comes up, <br />when i think of that part of my life, <br />but at the same time, <br />it what makes me feel better about myself, <br />i know that i am stronger because of it, <br />at times when i'm in the moment, <br />it feels so far from the truth, <br />but if i continue to run from my past, <br />and do the things that i don't like, <br />i'm not really dealing with it, <br />i'm making it worse by keeping myself the victim, <br />i was the victim in the past, <br />i don't have to be it now, <br />yeah my past will take some time to move on from, <br />but it doesn't changes much of who i am, <br />i have ppl who see me for me, <br />i may be a sensitive girl, <br />but there are some that don't take advantage of it, <br />some guys will always be jerks, <br />but not all guys are, <br />as i open up and trust some guys, <br />i'm realizing that some guys can be trusted, <br />just like some girls can be trusted, <br />it not so much on who they are, <br />it ppl actions that can attract you to somebody, <br />or just as well walk away from them, <br />i'm learning that i do have control of my life, <br />i'm just afraid to take it at times, <br />as a young girl, <br />speaking your mind ment, <br />i got more than i can handle, <br />you start to learn to stay quiet, <br />and just take what is coming to you, <br />a hard thing to take, <br />but up til this day, <br />it what i've been doing, <br />not speaking up, <br />when ppl start to treat me wrong.<br /><br />mona martinez<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/understanding-more-about-myself/
