'Mr. Debit, we advise you to put part <br />of yourself in stocks and part in bonds. <br />These punishments should occur in the <br />Town Square, as penance for your miserable <br />money-managing skills, and as an example <br />to all. Unfortunately, your folio seems <br />never to have left port. It's taking on water <br />and barnacles. Our projections indicate <br /> <br />you'll be able to retire uncomfortably <br />when all the mountains run into the sea. <br />By then, the National Economy <br />shall have melted, leaving a residue <br />of prosperity. In those far-off days, <br /> <br />travel by burro, but don't go near <br />the fortresses of the mega-rich <br />and super-celebrated. From bastions, <br />their minions will train designer-weapons <br />on you. You must understand that from <br />the wealthy's point of view, few <br />things drive down property-values <br />more than semi-retired, Quixotic <br />geezers sitting atop humble beasts. <br /> <br />Currently, your liquid assets fit <br />into a shot-glass and may be <br />downed in one gulp. Among <br />your liabilities is you. Please <br />try harder to be a credit to <br />yourself. Crawl low. Pray high.'<br /><br />Hans Ostrom<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/financial-advice/
