Blah, blah, blah and halleluiah! <br />Can I get an “amen? ! ” <br />Ladies and gentlemen we are gathered here today <br />To celebrate the union of these two in…not so holy matrimony! <br />Yes, today we see just how strong the bond between this woman and her credit card can be! <br />Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Church of Material Marriages! <br />Where you can marry whatever it is you truly love the most in this world: <br />Your credit card. <br />Maybe for you sir, your sports car? <br />For you, boy, your trombone? <br />For you, young lady, your cell phone? <br />Ladies and gentlemen, look what we got! <br />This woman and her credit card, till death will they shop! <br />‘Til they drop! <br />And they ain’t goan stop! <br />Unless of course he gets maxed out, <br />But worry not! No doubt, <br />He’s platinum. <br />What can a young lady do with an endless line <br />Of credit and a love to last her a lifetime? ! <br />For sure she’ll be lookin’ fine <br />As wine, <br />And she’ll dine <br />On fine <br />Cuisine, <br />On the French Riviera, <br />And no doubt her new lover will pick up the check. <br />And once you go plastic you never go back! No more cash <br />For you missy. Throw that checkbook in the trash! <br />And now, by the power vested in me, by the great state of Shopaholics for Life <br />I now pronounce you card and wife. <br />Ma’am, you may now swipe the card.<br /><br />Travis Snell<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/wedding-sermon-at-the-church-of-material-marriages/
