Emotions are a terrible mess; I don’t want <br />emotions in my life, I want to freeze my <br />feelings, I want to be oblivious to everything; <br />I want to be a robot, I want to die emotionally <br />like most people have done – I don’t want <br />to feel any more! <br /> <br />Rudi was called away for a marine emergency, <br />colleagues usurping him and I want him with me <br />here; I feel insanely jealous, first he wrote a report <br />all alone; then he goes off and leaves me with a <br />heart full of burning feelings! What does he <br />want me to do when I long for him so? <br /> <br />Why doesn’t he send them all away and simply <br />stay with me? I’m not in the mood for other people, <br />I want him and him alone, I want to cuddle with him <br />and hear his voice, even his remonstrance because <br />I’m careless with cutting machines – I hate being at <br />the mercy of feelings, I hate human needs <br /> <br />I hate being so weak, I want to hold my head proudly <br />and do my own thing, I refuse to show him how much <br />it hurts when he is angry with me, when he goes away, <br />I hate feeling so much!<br /><br />Louise Tredoux<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-hate-feeling-so-much/
