You sit there before me, <br />laughing with friends, <br />i join in just to pretend, <br />to show you i'm fine, <br />so you don't worry, <br />so you don't hurry, <br />bur inside my soul, <br />is fading away, <br />but inside my soul <br />is slowly dying. <br /> <br />You see my disguse <br />and think it's all real, <br />you don't see within in me <br />you don't see what's really real <br />You think i'm ok <br />You think i'm fine <br />But inside i'm dying <br />deep down inside. <br /> <br />I make you believe <br />that i'm fine inside, <br />untill that day where <br />you suddnely realised, <br />what was going on, <br />deep in my soul, <br />you took me to see her, <br />you said it would be better. <br /> <br />You said everything, <br />would be ok soon, <br />but how soon did you mean <br />now or in a hundred years, <br />cause it feels like, <br />it's been a lifetime, <br />waiting for you to see, <br />For you too see deep inside <br />to see what's really me. <br /> <br />Months have gone by <br />since you've found out, <br />no longer do you check <br />if i am ok, <br />no longer do you check <br />if i am happy, <br />no longer do you make <br />me smile. <br /> <br />You've gone back to your <br />ways before you knew, <br />you pretend it was a dream, <br />you pretend it wasn't real, <br />you sit there with friends, <br />and laugh and smile, <br />while i sit there dying inside. <br /> <br />You now don't see <br />inside me anymore <br />you now only see <br />what I want to show, <br />you now only see <br />the mask outside, <br />you now only see <br />the twisted truths. <br /> <br />I've told you once, <br />i'm not telling again, <br />I've put on my mask, <br />once again, <br />just because, <br />you've all gone back to your ways, <br />you've all gone back to your happy ways, <br />no longer can I let you down, <br />so this mask will be stuck <br />for as long as i'm with you, <br />Then when i'm all alone, <br />I can let it all go, <br />I can be myself again. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Written on 5th April 2010<br /><br />jess jayne<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/pretending-again/
