I was once both lost for words, <br />And incapable of speech, <br />I had paucity of verbs, <br />And antonyms were out of reach. <br />But then, in fortune's hand, there came gift, <br />A lexicon of splendour, <br />And now I say just what I wish, <br />Thanks to Gustavus Hartrampf's Vocabulary Builder. <br /> <br />Would you bathe in Mercury's light, <br />Of eloquence and spark? <br />Is there timely wit in your repartee, <br />And in every casual remark? <br />Do they listen like the felon does, <br />As the judge pronounces guilt, or, <br />Perhaps you need a copy of, <br />Gustavus Hartrampf's Vocabulary Builder? <br /> <br />Would you, your sweetheart's love to own, <br />And take the Romeo's part? <br />Who's ardent soliloquy 'neath moonlit sky, <br />Shall cage her fluttering heart? <br />Then be advised my lovelorn friend, <br />The one way to allure her, <br />Is with flowers, ring and aftershave, <br />And Gustavus Hartrampf's Vocabulary Builder <br /> <br />Poor Shakespeare brief career closed, <br />When his plays reached thirty seven, <br />How many more might have been composed, <br />Had he the publication sent from Heaven? <br />It is a wonderland of wordage, <br />Your expressions it will guilder, <br />Like many multi-coloured birds that sing, <br />Is Gustavus Hartrampf's Vocabulary Builder. <br /> <br />Get yourself a copy, friend, <br />I'm sure you won't regret it, <br />T'will all misunderstanding thus forefend, <br />If you will only let it. <br />So if you wife can't understand you, <br />And your speeches just bewilder, <br />What you need, my inarticulated friend, <br />Is of Gustavus Hartrampf's Vocabulary Builder!<br /><br />john coldwell<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/hartrampf-s-vocabulary-builder/
