Am I besides myself about the thoughts of the future <br />Or reminicing upon frivolous times of the past <br />That even through all the loneliness I believe I'm inlove <br />We sleep on seperate sides of the bed <br />And the longest conversation we've ever had, is when we argue <br />The words you said will stain me like a tattoe <br />Where everytime you walk away feels like nothing new <br />As if its something I never knew <br />When you said you loved me, yes loved... <br />Was that true? , or just something you said not to come across rude <br />Why am I here? <br />When that wedding ring you wear feels like a burden <br />While I embrace our vows, its like making a promise to the devil <br />You say you love me, when your eyes depict a perfect lie <br />In public we the perfect couple <br />In closed doors I wish we were in public <br />You've taught me how to hate when all I ever did was love <br />Without my consent you aborted my only child <br />Why am I still here? <br />Why am I still here? <br />Why am I still here? <br />A question I ask myself repeatedly <br />Lying in this coma subconciously <br />Why am I still here... <br />Not in this relationship, but on this earth <br />Why didn't suicide rid me from this pain? <br />Why can't I be happy? , because I know I'll only receive that when I'm dead <br />But in this place you have no control over my life <br />Happiness is paradise <br />So why am I still here? <br />Because upon my wake, I'll live my life, the one you almost took away from me<br /><br />Kgagamatso Chimelwane<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/why-am-i-still-here/
