The suffering of my youth <br />reawakens and reappears. <br />I need to transcend it. <br />I hope my mawkishness will <br />get me past it... <br /> <br />The pain I feel <br />is like flames of burning walls <br />that need to be replenished <br />in the sea of life, <br /> <br />Because I exist with no goal <br />or course of action <br />and just pain <br />heckling my doomed life... <br /> <br />It's not easy deteriorating, <br />being depressed and shuffling moods, <br />I never know what to expect <br />from even myself... <br /> <br />I have an array of moods <br />and feelings, <br />sometimes a new one each day... <br /> <br />There's no consistency to depth of thought... <br /> <br />It manipulates me...I can't contain it <br />I just hope and pray <br />for balance and adjustment, <br />with even tempered structure <br />edged with trust...<br /><br />Jeanne Fiedler<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-rising-tides-2/