I once looked up to him when I was a little boy, <br />I wanted to be just like him, so he I did annoy, <br />I emulated his every move and even the way he walked, <br />I even began to spit and curse, I even mimicked the way he talked. <br />I wanted to be just like him, so he I would always try to impress, <br />I even wore his hand me downs, whenever I got dressed, <br />Wherever he went I followed, or I wanted to go, <br />But, then he would always laugh at me, telling others me he didn't know. <br />He never protected or defended me the way I thought he would, <br />He never wanted me at his side as my parents said he should, <br />I thought that he would protect and defend me; he never did, <br />I thought that he was there to help and advise me; he hid. <br />He was my older brother I admired him the most of all, <br />If he ever wanted or needed anything of mine, all he had to do was call, <br />I had a younger and older sister and a caring loving father and mother, <br />But, he was superior to them all, as he was my older brother. <br />Then he started drinking and smoking and also using drugs, <br />Then he began to lie and steal so he became one of the thugs, <br />When I grew older my adoration for my brother I did drown, <br />No longer do I look up upon him, I now look down. <br /> <br /> <br />Randy L. McClave<br /><br />Randy McClave<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-older-brother/
