LAST night I single handed fought a gang of murderers that came <br />To get my money or my life, and very nearly did the same; <br />I struggled with them on a cliff, and over it I toppled two, <br />I hit another one a biff that dazed him, but I wasn't through, <br />As fast as one was overpowered another villain forced the fight, <br />Because four doughnuts I devoured and used a cider wash last night. <br /> <br />The horse that I was riding ran away with me at furious pace, <br />He tossed me up against a tree, I ploughed a furrow with my face! <br />A farmer's bull was grazing near, and he took up the battle then <br />And landed me upon my ear upon the farmer's cattle pen; <br />An aeroplane came whizzing by, I grabbed at it with all my might, <br />Because four doughnuts that you buy, with cider I washed down last night. <br /> <br />A strange and angry beast then came, a creature with a horrid grunt, <br />The way he used me was a shame, he galloped up and down my front; <br />He had the roughest kind of feet that ever I have gazed upon, <br />His breath was hardly fresh and sweet, of nostrils he had only one <br />But that belched fire and brimstone, too; his tusks were long and sharp and white — <br />It's awful what doughnuts will do when mixed with cider late at night!<br /><br />Edgar Albert Guest<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/doughnuts-and-cider/
