When on the sandy shore I sit, <br />Beside the salt sea-wave, <br />And fall into a weeping fit <br />Because I dare not shave - <br />A little whisper at my ear <br />Enquires the reason of my fear. <br /> <br />I answer "If that ruffian Jones <br />Should recognise me here, <br />He'd bellow out my name in tones <br />Offensive to the ear: <br />He chaffs me so on being stout <br />(A thing that always puts me out)." <br /> <br />Ah me! I see him on the cliff! <br />Farewell, farewell to hope, <br />If he should look this way, and if <br />He's got his telescope! <br />To whatsoever place I flee, <br />My odious rival follows me! <br /> <br />For every night, and everywhere, <br />I meet him out at dinner; <br />And when I've found some charming fair, <br />And vowed to die or win her, <br />The wretch (he's thin and I am stout) <br />Is sure to come and cut me out! <br /> <br />The girls (just like them!) all agree <br />To praise J. Jones, Esquire: <br />I ask them what on earth they see <br />About him to admire? <br />They cry "He is so sleek and slim, <br />It's quite a treat to look at him!" <br /> <br />They vanish in tobacco smoke, <br />Those visionary maids - <br />I feel a sharp and sudden poke <br />Between the shoulder-blades - <br />"Why, Brown, my boy! Your growing stout!" <br />(I told you he would find me out!) <br /> <br />"My growth is not YOUR business, Sir!" <br />"No more it is, my boy! <br />But if it's YOURS, as I infer, <br />Why, Brown, I give you joy! <br />A man, whose business prospers so, <br />Is just the sort of man to know! <br /> <br />"It's hardly safe, though, talking here - <br />I'd best get out of reach: <br />For such a weight as yours, I fear, <br />Must shortly sink the beach!" - <br />Insult me thus because I'm stout! <br />I vow I'll go and call him out!<br /><br />Lewis Carroll<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/size-and-tears/
