Dear Johnny, I return my thanks to you; <br />But more than thanks is your due <br />For publishing the scurrilous poetry about me <br />Leaving the Ancient City of Dundee. <br /> <br />The rhymster says, we'll weary for your schauchlin' form; <br />But if I'm not mistaken I've seen bonnier than his in a field of corn; <br />And, as I venture to say and really suppose, <br />His form seen in a cornfield would frighten the crows. <br /> <br />But, dear Johnny, as you said, he's just a lampoon, <br />And as ugly and as ignorant as a wild baboon; <br />And, as far as I can judge or think, <br />He is a vendor of strong drink. <br /> <br />He says my nose would make a peasemeal warrior weep; <br />But I've seen a much bonnier sweep, <br />And a more manly and wiser man <br />Than he is by far, deny it who can! <br /> <br />And, in conclusion, I'd have him to beware, <br />And never again to interfere with a poet's hair, <br />Because Christ the Saviour wore long hair, <br />And many more good men, I do declare. <br /> <br />Therefore I laugh at such bosh that appears in print. <br />So I hope from me you will take the hint, <br />And never publish such bosh of poetry again, <br />Or else you'll get the famous Weekly News a bad name.<br /><br />William Topaz McGonagall<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/lines-in-reply-to-the-beautiful-poet-who-welcome/
