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Thomas Moore - Corn and Catholics

2014-11-07 15 Dailymotion

"What! still those two infernal questions, <br />That with our meals our slumbers mix -- <br />That spoil our tempers and digestions -- <br />Eternal Corn and Catholics! <br /> <br />Gods! were there ever two such bores? <br />Nothing else talk'd of night or morn -- <br />Nothing in doors, or out of doors, <br />But endless Catholics and Corn! <br /> <br />Never was such a brace of pests -- <br />While Ministers, still worse than either, <br />Skill'd but in feathering their nests, <br />Plague us with both, and settle neither. <br /> <br />So addled in my cranium meet <br />Popery and Corn, that oft I doubt, <br />Whether this year, 'twas bonded Wheat <br />Or bonded Papists, they let out. <br /> <br />Here, landlords, here, polemics nail you, <br />Arm'd with all rubbish they can rake up; <br />Prices and Texts at once assail you -- <br />From Daniel these, and those from Jacob. <br /> <br />And when you sleep, with head still torn <br />Between the two, their shapes you mix, <br />Till sometimes Catholics seem Corn -- <br />Then Corn again seems Catholics. <br /> <br />Now, Dantzic wheat before you floats -- <br />Now, Jesuits from California -- <br />Now, Ceres, link'd with Titus Oats, <br />Comes dancing through the "Porta Cornea." <br /> <br />Oft, too, the Corn grows animate, <br />And a whole crop of heads appears, <br />Like Papists, bearding Church and State -- <br />Themselves, together by the ears! <br /> <br />In short, these torments never cease; <br />And oft I wish myself transferr'd off <br />To some far, lonely land of peace, <br />Where Corn or Papists ne'er were heard of. <br /> <br />Yes, waft me, Parry, to the Pole, <br />For -- if my fate is to be chosen <br />'Twixt bores and icebergs -- on my soul, <br />I'd rather, of the two, be frozen!<br /><br />Thomas Moore<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/corn-and-catholics/

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