Great Sultan, how wise are thy state compositions! <br />And oh, above all, I admire that Decree, <br />In which thou command'st, that all she politicians <br />Shall forthwith be strangled and cast in the sea. <br /> <br />'Tis my fortune to know a lean Benthamite spinster -- <br />A maid, who her faith in old Jeremy puts; <br />Who talks, with a lisp, of the "last new Westminster," <br />And hopes you're delighted with "Mill upon Gluts"; <br /> <br />Who tells you how clever one Mr. Fun-blank is, <br />How charming his Articles 'gainst the Nobility; -- <br />And assures you that even a gentleman's rank is, <br />In Jeremy's school, of no sort of utility. <br /> <br />To see her, ye Gods, a new number perusing -- <br />Art. 1 - "On the Needle's variations", by Pl--e; <br />Art. 2 - By her fav'rite Fun-blank - so amusing! <br />"Dear man! he makes poetry quite a Law case." <br /> <br />Art. 3 -"Upon Fallacies", Jeremy's own -- <br />(Chief Fallacy being, his hope to find readers); - <br />Art. 4 - "Upon Honesty", author unkown; -- <br />Art. 5 - (by the young Mr. M--) "Hints to Breeders". <br /> <br />Oh, Sultan, oh, Sultan, though oft for the bag <br />And the bowstring, like thee, I am tempted to call -- <br />Though drowning's too good for each blue-stocking hag, <br />I would bag this she Benthamite first of them all! <br /> <br />And, lest she should ever again lift her head <br />From the watery bottom, her clack to renew -- <br />As a clog, as a sinker, far better than lead, <br />I would hang round her neck her own darling Review.<br /><br />Thomas Moore<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ode-to-the-sublime-porte/
