All stark and cold the merchant lay, <br />All cold and stark lay he. <br />And who hath killed the fair merchant? <br />Now tell the truth to me. <br /> <br />Oh, I have killed this fair merchant <br />Will never again draw breath; <br />Oh, I have made this fair merchant <br />To come unto his death. <br /> <br />Oh, why hast thou killed this fair merchant <br />Whose corpse I now behold? <br />And why hast caused this man to lie <br />In death all stark and cold? <br /> <br />Oh, I have killed this fair merchant <br />Whose kith and kin make moan, <br />For that he hath stolen my precious time <br />When he useth the telephone. <br /> <br />The telephone bell rang full and clear; <br />The receiver did I seize. <br />"Hello!" quoth I, and quoth a girl, <br />"Hello! . . . One moment, please." <br /> <br />I waited moments ane and twa, <br />And moments three and four, <br />And then I sought the fair merchant <br />And spilled his selfish gore. <br /> <br />That business man who scorneth to waste <br />His moments sae rich and fine <br />In calling a man to the telephone <br />Shall never again waste mine! <br /> <br />And every time a henchwoman <br />Shall cause me a moment's loss, <br />I'll forthwith fare to that office <br />And stab to death her boss. <br /> <br />Rise up! Rise up! thou blesséd knight! <br />And off thy bended knees! <br />Go forth and slay all folk who make <br />Us wait "One moment, please."<br /><br />Franklin P. Adams<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-ballad-of-the-murdered-merchant/
