Were I a king in very truth, <br />And had a son - a guileless youth - <br />In probable succession; <br />To teach him patience, teach him tact, <br />How promptly in a fix to act, <br />He should adopt, in point of fact, <br />A manager's profession. <br />To that condition he should stoop <br />(Despite a too fond mother), <br />With eight or ten "stars" in his troupe, <br />All jealous of each other! <br />Oh, the man who can rule a theatrical crew, <br />Each member a genius (and some of them two), <br />And manage to humour them, little and great, <br />Can govern a tuppenny-ha'penny State! <br /> <br />Both A and B rehearsal slight - <br />They say they'll be "all right at night" <br />(They've both to go to school yet); <br />C in each act MUST change her dress, <br />D WILL attempt to "square the press"; <br />E won't play Romeo unless <br />His grandmother plays Juliet; <br />F claims all hoydens as her rights <br />(She's played them thirty seasons); <br />And G must show herself in tights <br />For two convincing reasons - <br />Two very well-shaped reasons! <br />Oh, the man who can drive a theatrical team, <br />With wheelers and leaders in order supreme, <br />Can govern and rule, with a wave of his fin, <br />All Europe and Asia - with Ireland thrown in!<br /><br />WS Gilbert<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-manager-s-perplexities-2/
