As I lay at your feet that afternoon, <br />Little we spoke, you sat and mused, <br />Humming a sweet old-fashioned tune, <br /> <br />And I worshipped you, with a sense confused <br />Of the good time gone and the bad on the way, <br />While my hungry eyes your face perused <br /> <br />To catch and brand on my soul for aye <br />The subtle smile which had grown my doom. <br />Drinking sweet poison hushed I lay <br /> <br />Till the sunset shimmered athwart the room. <br />I rose to go. You stood so fair <br />And dim in the dead day's tender gloom: <br /> <br />All at once, or ever I was aware, <br />Flashed from you on me a warm strong wave <br />Of passion and power; in the silence there <br /> <br />I fell on my knees, like a lover, or slave, <br />With my wild hands clasping your slender waist: <br />And my lips, with a sudden frenzy brave, <br /> <br />A madman's kiss on your girdle pressed, <br />And I felt your calm heart's quickening beat, <br />And your soft hands on me one instant rest. <br /> <br />And if God had loved me, how endlessly sweet <br />Had he let my heart in its rapture burst, <br />And throb its last at your firm small feet! <br /> <br />And when I was forth, I shuddered at first <br />At my imminent bliss. As a soul in pain, <br />Treading his desolate path accursed, <br /> <br />Looks back and dreams through his tears' dim rain <br />That by Heaven's wide gate the angels smile, <br />Relenting, and beckon him back again, <br /> <br />And goes on, thrice damned by that devil's wile, <br />So sometimes burns in my weary brain <br />The thought that you loved me all the while.<br /><br />John Hay<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/regardant/
