A Frenchman and an Englishman <br />Resolved to fight a duel, <br />And hit upon a savage plan, <br />Because their hate was cruel. <br />They each would fire a single shot <br />In room of darkness pitchy, <br />And who was killed and who was not <br />Would hang on fingers twitchy. <br /> <br />The room was bare and dark as death, <br />And each ferocious fighter <br />Could hear his fierce opponent's breath <br />And clutched his pistol tighter. <br />The Gaston fired - the bullet hissed <br />On its destructive mission . . . <br />"Thank God!" said John Bull. "He has missed." <br />The Frenchman cried: "Perdition!" <br /> <br />Then silence followed like a spell, <br />And as the Briton sought to <br />Reply he wondered where the hell <br />His Gallic foe had got to. <br /> <br />And then he thought: "I'll mercy show, <br />Since Hades is a dire place <br />To send a fellow to - and so <br />I'll blase up through the fireplace." <br /> <br />So up the chimney he let fly, <br />Of grace a gallant henchman; <br />When lo! a sudden cry, <br />And down there crashed the Frenchman . . . <br />But if this yard in France you tell, <br />Although its vein be skittish, <br />I think it might be just as well <br />To make your Frenchman - British.<br /><br />Robert William Service<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/duello/
