When I, good friends, was called to the Bar, <br />I'd an appetite fresh and hearty, <br />But I was, as many young barristers are, <br />An impecunious party. <br />I'd a swallow-tail coat of a beautiful blue - <br />A brief which was brought by a booby - <br />A couple of shirts and a collar or two, <br />And a ring that looked like a ruby! <br /> <br />In Westminster Hall I danced a dance, <br />Like a semi-despondent fury; <br />For I thought I should never hit on a chance <br />Of addressing a British Jury - <br />But I soon got tired of third-class journeys, <br />And dinners of bread and water; <br />So I fell in love with a rich attorney's <br />Elderly, ugly daughter. <br /> <br />The rich attorney, he wiped his eyes, <br />And replied to my fond professions: <br />"You shall reap the reward of your enterprise, <br />At the Bailey and Middlesex Sessions. <br />You'll soon get used to her looks," said he, <br />"And a very nice girl you'll find her - <br />She may very well pass for forty-three <br />In the dusk, with a light behind her!" <br /> <br />The rich attorney was as good as his word: <br />The briefs came trooping gaily, <br />And every day my voice was heard <br />At the Sessions or Ancient Bailey. <br />All thieves who could my fees afford <br />Relied on my orations, <br />And many a burglar I've restored <br />To his friends and his relations. <br /> <br />At length I became as rich as the GURNEYS - <br />An incubus then I thought her, <br />So I threw over that rich attorney's <br />Elderly, ugly daughter. <br />The rich attorney my character high <br />Tried vainly to disparage - <br />And now, if you please, I'm ready to try <br />This Breach of Promise of Marriage!<br /><br />William Schwenck Gilbert<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-judge-s-song/
