When I went to the Bar as a very young man <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />I'll work on a new and original plan <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief <br />Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief, <br />Because his attorney, has sent me a brief <br />(Said I to myself - said I!) <br /> <br />I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force <br />In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce, <br />Have perjured themselves as a matter of course <br />(Said I to myself - said I!) <br /> <br />Ere I go into court I will read my brief through <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />And I'll never take work I'm unable to do <br />(Said I to myself - said I). <br />My learned profession I'll never disgrace <br />By taking a fee with a grin on my face, <br />When I haven't been there to attend to the case <br />(Said I to myself - said I!) <br /> <br />In other professions in which men engage <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage, <br />(Said I to myself - said I), <br />Professional licence, if carried too far, <br />Your chance of promotion will certainly mar - <br />And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar <br />(Said I to myself - said I!)<br /><br />William Schwenck Gilbert<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/said-i-to-myself-said-i/
