I still have dreams that haunt me. <br />I'm back there as a child. <br />I see the drinks, the drugs and all. <br />I watch our family be defiled. <br /> <br />In my dreams I try to help you. <br />I try to stop the pain. <br />The stress of changing whats been done <br />is driving me insane. <br /> <br />I know that I was little. <br />I couldn't have changed a thing. <br />Then why do I feel so responsible <br />for almost everything? <br /> <br />I feel I should have told you <br />I hated how we were. <br />It hurt to be so hungry. <br />I was afraid, alone and unsure. <br /> <br />I know I was only one of five <br />and we all went through the pain. <br />I just can't keep from going back <br />and feeling it all again. <br /> <br />If only I could have stopped you. <br />I could have saved you from the drugs. <br />I could have held you and begged of you. <br />But, oh yeah........you hated hugs. <br /> <br />I try not to visit back there <br />but my dreams go where they may. <br />Each night I take a step back in time <br />I hear a little girl say...... <br /> <br />Why do I feel responsible? ? ?<br /><br />Mary Nagy<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/why-do-i-feel-responsible-2/
