Just shut up already about herbal remedies, I told her. <br />This was on Valentines Day, hours before Sally fed <br />my dog some herbal medication <br />and he brewed butt coffee <br />and lost it all over my house after she left. <br />When I came home greeted by brown valentines <br />on my shoes, rug, and - omigod - headphones, <br />I had to walk around outside to calm down <br />before I picked up the phone. <br />I expected her to claim it was good <br />for the dog to clean out his system. <br />But she surprised me, apologized and <br />came over, did a pretty good clean-up, <br />I did have to throw out the shoes <br />and there was no way I was going to <br />use those headphones again. <br />So she did okay. <br />I broke up with her anyway. <br />Find an herbal remedy for that, bitch! <br />No, I didn’t say that, <br />but we did break up the following year <br />on Valentines Day.<br /><br />Michael Philips<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-shitty-valentines-day/
