You know how everyone is always griping and complaining <br />that Jesus never does any really blatant miracles to prove his <br />existence? Like, he could make all guns vanish with one <br />wave of his wand, or instantly heal all sick people in the <br />world (except for gay people with AIDS of course) . But you <br />know, if I was in Jesus’ shoes (sandals) , I would probably be <br />just as inactive as he is. I mean, I wouldn’t want to start a <br />stampede toward heaven, so I would just do subtle little <br />miracles, like make someone’s sock disappear in the dryer, or <br />move their bookmark to the previous page. And when they’d <br />pray to me, I wouldn’t answer most of the time. And when I <br />did answer, I’d do it in a sort of indirect and ambiguous way <br />so they’d have to spend time pondering and interpreting it. <br /> <br />But after they’re dead, watch out! No more subtlety! Anyone <br />who didn’t pick up on the nuanced little clues of my <br />existence, well, it’s too late now! I’ll have the devil take an <br />electric belt sander to their faces.<br /><br />Professor Poetry Hound<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if-i-were-god/
