Ladies and Gentlemen, <br />this is my first poetry reading <br />and I’m very nervous <br />and nearly cancelled tonight <br /> <br />but I spoke about this to <br />a friend who’s a therapist <br />and he said, <br />this is what you do, <br /> <br />you imagine the audience <br />in front of you <br />all in their underwear <br />(as you probably are; but <br />without the outer layer) <br />with the men <br />wearing the most idiotic <br />flowered Hawaiian <br />two sizes too large <br />boxer shorts <br />and the ladies <br />in the frumpiest <br />underwear <br />you can imagine <br /> <br />apparently it works <br /> <br />so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen, <br />somewhat strangely <br />from time to time <br />or giggle uncontrollably <br />or my eyes rest on you personally <br />as if we’re sharing some huge <br />x-ray joke, <br /> <br />please forgive me <br />and understand <br />that’s it for your benefit <br />as well as mine <br />and that you will have put your outerwear <br />back on <br />in the interval <br />before the next poem <br /> <br />I hope this is OK with you <br />and nobody’s too embarrassed <br />in fact you could do the same trick <br />with me if it’s <br />any help <br />and now <br />I think I’ve said enough as <br />I’m OK now <br />how about you? <br /> <br /> <br />(For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line) <br /> <br /> <br />(with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)<br /><br />Michael Shepherd<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/0034-poem-with-which-to-start-a-poetry-reading/
